Firstly most want to be with their husband I guess, but circumstances show she may have to step out of her comfort zone if she has an old man that has a passion about going to sea and taking some inborn macho risks. She is in the proverbial cleft stick. Damned if she does, and damned if she doesn't. This pans out normally that the dear lady wife will play a part, but she's not normally comfortable deep down I have found. Also I conclude this is the case with 75% of all cruising couples these days on Passagemakers. The other 25% is made up of divorces, threatened divorces, pure rejectionists, and the real female warriors who thrive on it. May I underline Passagemaking here, not lake sailing. My wife thought she was a bit of a party pooper, but spending some time recently with many other cruising wives in Alaska , she said everyone to a tee felt the same as her. She says she would not trade a hug from the grandchildren for a nautical mile, but will try her hardest and fit both in. The day the balance swings, I'm in deep doggies with my own aspirations. There is a high profile cruising couple out there where the wife used to race cars, but this is rare and totally relevant for her and them. My wife only races to the manicurist as is her want often, and is fully deserved after bringing up four children and putting up with me. Her nails were wrecked recently after jumping off the swim step and fastening heavy lines to a bullrail on a rocking pontoon in Alaska. She did it and I love her for it (even though she was excrutiatingly slow from the view of the commander up on the Portuguese Bridge with oversight playing with toggles) Why is it that our spouses/partners never have a forum to discuss their real feelings? I'm adamant that this would be a major positive for us guys in the long run. Sorry to mention just guys, but we get so very few views from our ladies on PUP - mores the pity. I don't want to get out of line here, but passagemaking is not all about filter microns and fuel transfer pumps - thats the easy part . Hey macho guys - disagree? Let the little ladies have there say for a change, and jump off your bloody high horse and tell the truth. Cantankerous Peter